than never. That seems to be my theme for this week. Now that I've finished my end of semester craziness (yes -- I'm DONE, last article I was fact checking got e-mailed off yesterday, a couple of days later than I wanted, but I'M DONE!), it's time to round up all of the balls I dropped while I was in intensive study/work mode. You know -- clean the house, do some laundry, make sure the bills have been paid, remember Mother's Day...oops.
Ok, I didn't really forget Mother's Day so much as I was so intense about getting the last major project done that I wasn't able to a) finish my Mom's gift, b) mail her a card, or c) let her know just how much she really means to me. I still need to do a) and b), but I think I can manage c) right now.
No, this photo is not of my Mom. It's me. But it's my Mom's favorite picture of me when I was a little girl. You see, when I was talking to Mom on Sunday (no, I didn't totally flake -- I DID call) she said something to me that made me think about this photo and about growing up. Mom and I were chatting and I think I was apologizing for being late with presents, not totally with it, etc. She said she understood and then said she was proud of me. Um, hunh? She was proud of me because I was a good mother. Oh, wow. I don't think I responded too much at the time, but I've been replaying it in my head for the past couple of days. Mom, you have no idea how much that means to me. Because, you see, if I am any kind of good mother at all -- it's because of you.
It's because of my mother that I understand the need to create a balance between work and family. Mom did it the entire time I was growing up and made it look effortless. I'm still trying to find that place. Mom worked hard, and I knew she did, but she always had time for me, for my activities, for fun. I haven't been too good at that these past couple of weeks -- but I know it's possible to find it because she did. Now, she also managed this while having a clean house. That one, um -- that one I may never quite get to --
It's because of my mother that I know what it means to support, love, and let your child make their own mistakes. Mom has always been my strongest supporter, my best hug, and the person I know will let me fall flat on my butt if I need to. Yes, it is important to let your children fall sometimes -- how else do they learn to get up again? And, when I have fallen (and oh my, the mistakes I've made and the times I've needed to pick myself up), she's always there with a hand and a hug.
I know this post isn't long enough to detail the millions of ways my Mom has been there for me, helped me, loved me. So all I can say is Thank You Mom. Thank you for your strength, your courage, your love. Thank you for putting up with me when I don't deserve it, and for always being my strongest supporter and toughest (but fairest) critic (not as in critical, but as in critique to help me figure out what I'm doing right and wrong). Thank you for helping me grow up (you're still doing it). Thank you for being you. Thank you for being the kind of mother I want to be -- and thank you for telling me you think I'm doing a good job at it.
I love you Mom. XOXO